There is a quote: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” It’s often misattributed to Albert Einstein, but I don’t know who actually said it.
Maybe it’s this weird blip in time. Maybe because many of us are relying on conversation more than pre-COVID. Probably a little of both. But I feel like I’ve been forced to look through a microscope at other peoples’ decisions (my own included). This is, of course, not true. I could choose to turn away or shut it out in many cases, and I do put up my boundaries when I get too tired (a skill that I am still learning a lot and developing). But sometimes I engage.
I think when someone invites us to look closely at them under a microscope, we start to lose our sense of self and autonomy. When you start to get lost in other people’s decisions or dramas, don’t lose your self. In fact, work harder than ever to hold on to yourself or rediscover and build out your identity even more.
I am sharing this CHVRCHES cover of the Arctic Monkeys‘ “Do I Wanna Know?” because to me, this song reeks of desperation and crawling back over and over again, which I’ve seen a lot of the past week. People can decide not to crawl and just sit with it (whatever “it” is). Then eventually maybe get up and start walking. Maybe in a different direction. This applies to the crazies we are examining and ourselves when we too closely examine crazies.
Lasting and healthy adult relationships, in every form (family, work, friends, etc.), should be reciprocal at least most of the time.